Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
