I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
