I faked an abortion last night.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
