no, he came in my armpit
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
