I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
