I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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