Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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