its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
