i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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