and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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