One girl and one boy is just not enough.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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