then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
