her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
