At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
