i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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