What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
