i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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