I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
