Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
