I want to have your abortion
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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