Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
