why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
