So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
