We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just cropdusted the office
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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