So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Welp...herpes.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
