NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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