put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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