All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
