At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
