also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
