Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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