This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
