so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
