You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
