It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
