If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
