Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
