Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
