We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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