Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My balls are so social today.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
