Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
