she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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