Pappa wants mamma naked
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
