I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
