the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Drunk is a universal language darling
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
