Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
