did you get engaged???
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
