Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
