I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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