Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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