is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
