I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Do vagina's smell?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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